SHEESH-TIMES-TWO ... or how to ...
by Jill2
Summary: Don't ask! I couldn't tell you even if my life depended on it. Sheesh!


Uhm ... I never intended to write a sequel. It's all your fault!  
Now you simply have to read this and send feedback. Hugs - Jill  
  
  
FIC: SHEESH TIMES TWO - or how to get back your long missed boyfriend (1/1)   
Author: Jill  
Category: HUMOR  
Disclaimer: let me check ... nope, still don't own them.  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: B/A, and the usual pairings from the show   
Distribution: my site (http://www.never-ending-love.de), Land of Denial,   
if you have any of my stories, take it; anybody else tell me where it goes  
Summary: Uh - none really, I don't know how to explain what came over me  
Spoilers: the whole Buffy/Angel-canon, and especially the episode   
"Smashed" and the previous story "SHEESH - or what really happened   
when Buffy and Spike had sex on the screen".  
Timeline: sets in when Angel drives to Sunnydale  
Feedback: oh yes, please  
Dedication: this is for all of you who sent feedback and were asking for a   
sequel, especially Peygan, Angeline, Sharon, Aygyun, Jen, Winfree, Dana, Jeanne,   
Cat, Kyria, Desdra, Wunyen, AngelslilgrlB, Hope, Sara-Lee, Missy, Ryann, Emily,   
and all the great guys at Ducks' babbleboard. You are great! As are you who reviewed the story at fanfic.net!   
  
  
  
Angel had never been so grateful for his advanced night-vision before.   
Otherwise he'd surely ended up in a wreck on the street.   
He was so angry he could barely think straight.  
  
Angry.  
  
Pah!  
  
He wasn't angry. He was furious. And even that word seemed too   
tame for what he was feeling right now. His demon was raging,   
his insides were churning.  
  
His mate had been having sex with Spike. It had been bad enough   
with Parker or Riley. Yes, he'd found out about the scum who had   
used her for one night. He'd made it his business knowing that.   
And Dru had been quite open to the idea to prolong her stop in   
Sunnydale about a year ago. He wondered briefly if anyone   
was already missing the guy.   
  
Unfortunately Riley had already left. And he couldn't send Dru  
after him as well. As crazy as she was she would get lost in the   
Brazilian jungle. With his soul firmly in place that would have   
pressed heavily on his conscience.  
  
But Spike!  
  
Had Buffy heard about him sleeping with Darla, he wondered?   
But even if - she'd been sleeping with Riley. More than once.   
With Darla it had only been one night. So he had been sleeping   
with Darla. So what?! Okay, he had a son now, but hey, who could've   
known vampires had to think about safer sex these days? Gee, he   
hadn't deliberately impregnated her, had he? Those things happened   
every day, didn't they? It was no biggie. Besides, Darla was dead.  
For good this time. Surely Buffy would like to hear this, right?   
  
It was still no reason to get down with Spike.   
  
Spike!  
  
They could be doing it right now! Mentally running down the   
weapons collection he'd thrown into the trunk, Angel barely   
managed to keep slipping into his game-face, and floored the accelerator.  
  
*  
  
He almost lost it the moment he opened the door to the Summers'   
house. Well, opened it wasn't quite correct. He simply kicked it in,   
not caring for the damage. He'd take care of the door later.   
It wasn't really important now.   
  
So there he stood, in the middle of Buffy's living-room and felt as   
if he'd been kicked into his gut.   
  
Hard.  
  
Buffy was lying right in front of him, stretched out languorously   
on the sofa, her eyes closed, she was wearing nothing but some   
flimsy teddy that revealed more than it covered. Angel could feel   
his blood boil, and his fingers involuntarily clenched into fists   
when she suddenly said in a very throaty, very sexy - damn the   
woman - voice, "Spike! I already told you not to kick in the door.   
It gets expensive after a while to have it repaired each day.   
Of course it's sexy, but you know our budget is a bit tight."  
  
He wanted to kill her. Or rather, he wanted to kill Spike.   
But of course his disobedient grand-childe wasn't even around.   
Summoning all his self-control, he raged, "No, I'm not Spike,"   
his eyes flashing amber.  
  
"Oh," she looked up flustered, her eyelashes battering, "Angel."   
Her voice was like a surprised breath. She sounded almost - frightened.   
Good! She should! "Wha- what are you doing here?," she asked.   
  
But God, she did look sexy in that outfit, damn her to hell.   
His mouth watered. He could barely control himself. He wanted   
to ravish her right here and now. Was a soul really that important?   
"I should ask the same question," he bit out, glaring at her,   
"What the hell are you doing. Lying around in that kind of   
outfit. Waiting for Spike!"  
  
"Spike?," she asked, sounding as if she didn't understand   
a word he was saying.   
  
"Yeah, Spike," he replied, not even trying to calm down.   
  
"Why, what would I ever do with Spike?" She looked at him   
through innocent eyes and he wanted to strangle her.   
  
"You know what I mean," he raged, "You were waiting for   
Spike. Your LOVER!"  
  
"My ... what?," her voice dropped to a shocked whisper,   
one hand flying in front of her mouth. "How can you say such   
a thing. I'm the Slayer. Spike is an evil vampire."  
  
"I'm glad you haven't completely lost your mind," he said,   
taking a deep breath, but not really convinced.   
"It was a one time slip then?"  
  
"A ...," she started, but something flickered through her eyes,   
he couldn't quite grasp and suddenly her eyes watered and   
a tear slipped from her lashes. "You have to understand," she began,   
"I'm all alone, nobody understands me. You don't   
know how it feels to be dead-," she paused, colour rising in her   
cheeks, "Or maybe you do. But I was dead for months.   
And now I'm back-," a sob raised in her throat, "- I don't feel   
like myself anymore. Spike was the only one ...," she   
gave him a dramatic pause, "the only one who understands."  
  
"Yeah, I saw it," he said sardonically. "But that's going to stop now."  
  
Her eyes widened in astonishment, "It is?"  
  
"Yes," he hissed, pulling her to him. "I'm dead, too.   
You can talk to me."  
  
"B-but...," she stammered, more tears slipping from her eyes,   
"You l-left me."  
  
"A mistake," he admitted grudgingly, closing his arms   
around her. "I'm correcting it. Now."  
  
"Oh." Again she sounded breathless.  
  
"We can have a long-distance sort of thing. It's not unusual   
these days. Besides, I've got a life-long experience with sex.   
We're going to find a way to do it without me losing my soul."  
  
"You can? I ... I mean, we can?," she asked, then after a moment,   
she nodded, "Yes. We can." She leaned into him, barely   
suppressing the wide grin that threatened to split her face.   
  
*  
  
Spike had never been so terrified in his whole life.   
Or un-life for that matter. He was bound to a chair, so   
tightly he couldn't move an inch, and he found himself   
staring into the face of his grand-sire, whose eyes   
didn't look friendly at all.   
  
The bleached blond vampire hated to beg, but at the   
moment, he though begging might be the right strategy.   
Angel had a soul, hadn't he? Didn't that mean the   
guy should have a conscience? "Angelus," his said,   
his voice low and pleading. "You can't do that. You don't   
want to do that."  
  
One of Angel's brows rose slowly, a glimmer that never   
bode well entering his eyes, "I don't?"  
  
"No," Spike replied fiercely. "I know you liked to torture   
people. You liked to play with them. But that was then.   
This is now."  
  
"Is it?"  
  
"Yes," the blond vampire insisted. "You ... you have   
a soul now. A conscience."  
  
Angel seemed to consider that, tilting his head, he   
looked at his grand-childe, "You're right. I do have a soul."  
  
He'd done it. Spike wanted to do a happy dance, but of   
course he couldn't, being bound to this damned chair.   
Bloody Poof. Feeling sure of himself, he leaned his   
head towards his grand-sire, his voice dropping to a   
whisper, "Besides," he said, "She isn't that great. It   
was nice the time it lasted, but I-" He stopped   
himself, realising he'd fucked it up big time now, and   
his eyes widened in shock, when Angel whirled around   
taking something from the table near by.  
  
"NO," Spike's eyes widened with renewed horror.   
"You can't do this," he whined, "Angelus, please.   
They all think I'm evil-"  
  
"Evil, hah!," Xander scoffed, grinning.  
  
"Evil." Dawn shook her head, giggled.  
  
"Yeah, sure, evil." Willow had a hard time not to burst   
out laughing.  
  
"That's it. I want to die," Spike whined. "My reputation is gone.   
Next thing they're going to call me the slayer's lapdog.   
This is so humiliating."  
  
"Good," Angel said with deep satisfaction.  
  
"I'm going to kill you," the blond vampire shouted.  
  
"Sure," his grand-sire replied easily.   
  
"Killing, Angel? You?," Dawn raised a brow, then started   
to laugh. Hard. "That's ... the ... m-most ridiculous thing   
I've ever heard." She could hardly speak because she   
couldn't stop laughing.  
  
"Will you stop it," Spike hissed.   
  
"Not that I really followed the vampire-history,"   
Anya cut in, "but everyone knows Angelus, while Spike...,"   
she trailed off, sighed dramatically.  
  
"Alright then," Angel said, smiling evilly at the grand-childe.   
  
"No, don't do it," the blond vampire begged again.  
  
Raising his brow, Angel chuckled, then opened the little   
booklet he'd brought with him from L.A. He almost laughed   
out loud remembering the moment Spike had seen it.   
The horror in his grand-childe's eyes had been priceless.   
  
Spike's shoulders slumped, his head sunk down on his chest,   
when Angel began, "And now you're going to hear the   
collected poems of William the Bloody..."  
  
"Will someone stake me already," the blond vampire muttered.  
  
Across the room Buffy's eyes met Willow's and the girls   
exchanged a smile. Buffy had thought about telling Angel   
she hadn't even tried to sleep with Spike, that all had been   
a plan to get him back. But in the end she'd decided against it. It   
was better he was believing the worst. Because that way   
he would keep an eye on her. And that was exactly what she wanted.  
  
END  
  
Feedback would be nice! You owe it to me! You urged me writing this sequel!   
--- oh, and one thing ... there won't be a third   
part. I started writing a new part of the midnight-series ... so, I'm busy! 


End file.
